Poetry

Here are a few of the poetry I've been writing lately; sorry, it's super long, but I want to know what you think!

Beauty for Ashes
I was walking in the forest one day
When I came upon a stream
As I gazed in the clean, clear water
I began to dream
I want my life to be that pure
I whispered to myself, "if only there was something, someone…
Who knew and had the cure"
Then I saw the heavens part and a light shown down on me
I first I was afraid and I held back
But then a voice said assuringly,
"The stream is crystal clear because I have made it that way
And I long to make your life that pure
But there is a price to pay
You must be willing to lay down your life
And give it all to me
Lay at my feet all your pain, hurt and strife
For I will hear your pleas
When the streams run dry
I will send the rain
I will pour our my compassion
When you are in pain
So let the streams flow
And let the tears run
For I will be with you wherever you go
Always remember my love for you
Anywhere you go
I’ll be there too
I will be the wind that sways the tall grasses
And I will give you beauty for ashes."
---"He gives beauty for ashes, strength for fear, gladness for mourning and peace for despair."--- Crystal Lewis

The Heart of a Potato, Newly Picked
A heart
Stone-cold
Beating underneath
A tired flesh
Stale
Bitter
Heavy-Laden
Frigid
Covered in muck
Deteriorating and dark
Black blood
Seeping through
Stone gauges
It is alive
Surviving by
Every heartbeat
Callused and consumed
--- "The heart is deceitful above all things, and desperately wicked: who can know it?"---Jeremiah 17:9 (KJV)

Through the Eyes of Eight
Two girls were playing at cousin’s house
One was loud; one quiet as a mouse
Many games were played under the sun
Like hide-and-seek, oh how fun!
One ran inside while the other one played
Girl went to find the one that strayed
She soon discovered where the other was
As she gazed in the room it all was a fuzz
She couldn’t believe what her eyes had seen
Could this all just be a dream?
Such a horrific sight she did behold
One entered the room, as she was told
Girl saw what he was doing to her
But didn’t know what to call what had occurred
He was touching her in ways
That no one should touch children who play
It didn’t stop there for the man of the hour
For now he had both girls under his power
What happened next was really a blur
But they will remember it forever and ever, I’m sure
This was the end of the end for the two girls
From that point on, life was a whirl
The pain, the anguish and strife
Had suddenly consumed their life
The two young girls had been forced to become woman fast
And learn the reality that good things don’t last
One grew up empowered; one was defeated
God restored one, while the other is cheated
This is very sad story to tell
I bet your wondering how I know it so well
This story I told is very true
Because of course, I am one of the two!
---"And we know that in all things God works together for the good of those who love Him, and have been called according to His purpose for them." ---Romans 8:28 (NIV)

It all Adds up to This
I died yesterday
My death was short and painful
I have died alone

Salvation
Do you ever remember a time in your life…
When there was no pain, heartache or strife?
Do you know peace? Have you met him?
When was the last time you went out on a limb?
Did anyone ever tell you are loved?
Not just liked, but truly beloved
Not because of what you have or haven’t done
But because of God and His only Son
He loves you with an everlasting love
One that can only be from above
He sent His Son to die for you
This action I know to be true
He was beaten bled and died on a tree
So that you and I could walk free
Freedom that comes only from the peace He gives
Until you know God, you’ll never know how good it is
He knows your heart; He sees your struggle to survive
He wants to know if you’re willing to take the dive?
Will you accept what He’s done for you?
And watch yourself experience a breakthrough
He quietly calls; He gently knocks
Do you dare to live outside of the box?
I know you think you’re "good enough" the way you are
But do you only know God from afar?
Do you know who God is, for real?
Or do you think He’s just some ideal?
I can tell you He’s not some cosmic killjoy who’s out to get you
He longs to know you and what you do
Why do blame God for the bad things in your life?
Is God truly responsible for all our strife?
Or is it that evil exists in this world because of the fall
But desires to know us all
Do you believe or turn away?
Do you think it’s true what I’ve had to say?
Don’t just take what I’ve said as the end all
Test what I say and give God a call
See if He won’t come to you when you reach out
May you learn truly what His love’s all about
I pray you accept God for yourself
Knowing God is good for more than your health! God Bless.
---"But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."---Romans 5:8 (NKJV)

Springtime Blues
Today is the day; spring has sprung
I smell the fresh air; it’s time for fun
I feel renewed and I have hope
Winter is gone; I now can cope
Why do I still feel so blue?
When I could be outside, with plenty to do!
I need a lifestyle change to come
Now is the time to adjust some
I can’t do it alone; I have tried and failed
The "My Way" ship truly has sailed!
God I come and beg of You
To deliver me from feeling blue
Change me like only You can
Make me into a new woman
Spring is my favorite season
No longer do I feel life breezin’
I am tired of the way I feel
Stale and dull weren’t part of the deal
My mood was supposed to improve with the flowers
But sitting here, I cringe and cower
I am not defeated; I know that for sure
But I know that I am no longer the cure
You God are my motivation
Master of my alteration
Give me the strength to overcome
Because of the blood of Your precious Son
I take back my life in the name of the Lord
No longer moping or acting bored
A proactive stand I take right now
And declare to selfishness I will not bow!
God be the victor of all I do!
I surrender all I am to You!

Depravity
Corrupt politicians
Lead our "good nation"
Subvert adolescents
Are the next generation for our "good"
Turpitude villains
Were "good people" who snapped
Perverted criminals
Used to be "good children"
Immoral pastors
Tired of being "good"
Profane children
Most are "good natured"
Being good doesn’t get you to heaven
In fact, it leads straight to hell
"Good men" will see the fire
No matter what you’ve done
Or didn’t do
It’s not "good enough"
It never will be
If you don’t know the truth
You are not free
Goodness cannot buy freedom
It doesn’t lead to redemption
There is no reward for how "good" you are
Call me a liar
Spit in my face
Curse at my God if you want to
But know this
Hear me now
We will answer to the same God in the end
Will your goodness get you a ticket to glory?
My relationship is my ticket
I have been set free
I am no longer a "good" person
But one who lives in freedom
No fear for the end of my life
We all know that life is but a moment
How are you living yours?
Will you trade goodness for freedom
Before life blinks and its all over?
---"That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you will be saved. For with the heart one believes unto righteousness, and with the mouth confession is made unto salvation." ---Romans 10:9-10 (NKJV)

Freedom
Today’s the day to chose a side
As you come, lay down your pride
Whom today will you serve with your life?
Will it be freedom or will it be strife?
You live your life to please yourself
You have lots of toys; you’ve accumulated wealth
There’s a void inside you’ve tried to fill
You are say you’re good; you’ve never killed
But are you free, inside and out?
Do you know what real love is all about?
Did you ever feel that something was missing?
Are you truly free, or merely existing?
The good news is that freedom has come
No longer will your life be ho-hum!
That void you feel will never be filled
Until you’re willing to lay down your self and your will
God designed with a spot in you for Him
Come on, just go out on a limb!
I know you think that you’ll be okay
So long as you think and do good things everyday
But the truth of the matter is plain to see
Charity and compassion will not make you free
Sure you’ll feel good about what you did for a spell
But what happens when you stop doing so well?
Will that void be fulfilled, or will it be dry?
People can tell when you smile or sigh
I know you think that freedom’s not free
It’s true you know, He bled and died on a tree
But He did it so that you can have access to freedom
Jesus wants you to be able to hear Him
It doesn’t matter what your vice is
Stuff, dating and drinking will at some point just fizz
No matter what you own or what you do
Until you know freedom, you will always be blue
You see, you can be happy but feelings are fleeting
When you know freedom, you follow His leading
You were created for a purpose and reason
God will reveal Himself in due season
He has been knocking on the door of your heart
Like Cupid’s arrow, grab hold of the dart
I pray today that freedom would find you
And then in your life you finally have breakthrough
I know you think I am being too preachy
But is this kind of freedom found in Nietzche?
So I ask you again, who is your Master?
What fills your void? Who occupies your caster?
Will it continue to be yourself or things you look to?
Or will it be Jesus, and His true freedom you pursue?
I’ll ask you again, whose side are you on?
And I want you to think before you respond!
--- "God loved the world so very, very much that he gave his only Son. Because he did that, everyone who believes in him will not lose his life, but will live for ever (in freedom)."--- John 3:16 (WENT)

I Go Walking...

As some of you may know, when Superman went to Seminary orientation the other day, he was told he was accepted, but not until the fall. They were not able to process his paperwork in time, as a few of the needed recommendation forms were VERY late. Superman and I made this deal on Monday that if he didn't call me, then he didn't get accepted. Well I am not someone to take no for an answer very easily, so at lunch time I called him. He said, "I got in, I'll talk to you about the details later." I interpreted this to mean he would talk to me about the living arrangements and such later. Me and my big mouth just can't be patient; I went on Facebook and immediately announced how excited I was that he got in. Well, this got me a ton of replies and congratulations! I got in the car and the first thing he says to me is that he'd wished I had WAITED to post anything on Facebook! After explaining to me the whole story (see above), I realized how hasty I had truly been. Now this blog is not a pity party, but rather a lesson for me. Anyone that knows me, knows that it takes me an awful long time to get over things- I sometimes think I could stay mad forever! This is a very bad trait of mine. Well, up until this point, I have been learning about the importance of God's timing, and I have been seeking him to change me and make me more like Him. I had seen any fruits of that prayers until that day. I, at first was very disappointed and mad. I was really looking forward to moving to Rotterdam (a lot of my close friends are there and it's closer to the fam) and was upset that I had to stay in that apartment paying the higher of the two rents. Instead of lashing out on Superman and making him feel worse (he was a bit disappointed too!), I just sat there in silence. A few tears ran down my cheek, but by the end of the car ride, I was fine. Not just put on a show fine, but really fine. I couldn't believe it! Not only was I fine, but I felt a tremendous sense of peace- who know! I realize now that it's was actually a blessing in disguise. We have so much going on, we are trying to get another car, pay off debt, and the last thing we needed was Superman to start school and try to move- all within the same week. Also, Superman is sick right now, so he would have had a hard time his "first week." The reason I was not as upset as I thought I could have been (I even surprised Superman as well as myself with my reaction!), is that my hope this whole time has been in God, not in Seminary. I know that "God is at work in our lives, to will and to do to His good pleasure!" I am thankful for this valuable lesson.
The weather has also contributed to my great mood. Spring always brings me a renewed sense of hope and it drives away the negativity! I went for a walk yesterday to the park and back after work, and it was awesome! I love being able to breath fresh air and take in God's awesome splendor- I always use that opportunity to talk with my Daddy! I am learning so much; I have started reading "Help Me I'm Insecure" by Joyce Meyer. I know what you're thinking, "it sounds cheesy; you should have read this a long time ago." It may sound cheesy, but God is using it. I am finally ready to embrace who God is. I am learning to "take ever thought captive under the submission of the Holy Spirit." And you know what, I am changing! For the first time in my life, what I am reading is sinking in! "I am the righteousness of Christ!" There are so many evident changes in my life- I have been reading my Bible on my down time and on my lunch break at work, and I have even started walking to and from work- I love it! The biggest change for me is the fact that I have been waking with or before my alarm. Anyone that knows me, knows how much of a struggle that has truly been for me FOR YEARS! Praise God for in His goodness and mercy; He has not only overcome death and the grave, but also ALL of my failures! I have never been so joyful or thankful in my life!

Life on Pause

I feel like life is on pause right now. Superman is right now at Seminary orientation finding out if he was even accepted into school. As of this morning we still don't know officially. The assistant at the Schenectady campus was surprised when Superman called her Friday afternoon and told her he still hadn't heard anything. She said she would call the Tennessee campus and have them call us, but we are still waiting for that call. So, Superman took it upon himself to go to Orientation- I don't know if he got in, what apartment we're living in, when we can move in, etc., etc. So, my whole house is packed, and it's on pause until Superman calls me today. He truly believes that God called him to Seminary, and so the fact that they're taking their time (though current students have said the same thing happened with them), is seriously nerve-racking! I have put my trust in God and know that He will work it out. Until next time, I live in limbo!!!

Betty Boop vs. Superman!

Let it be known that Superman makes the best eggplant parm I've ever had! I just had some for lunch today after eating it for dinner and it was still just as good! I was sad when the eggplant was all gone and there was only pasta left! You have to try it! I know that my hamburgers and mashed tonight (my turn to cook) will pale in comparison!! But it's okay 'cause it's that good!!!!

Blogging

I got into blogging because I wanted to stay in touch with the family and yet I only have one follower! Why is that? Aunt Moe, I've written more than four!

Welcome to my life!

Wow... Where to start??? I miss doing this... Well, right now my house is in a state of disarray because we are moving!!! There are boxes everywhere... it feels like a maze! But it is an exciting time for us. I started a new FULL-TIME job three weeks ago, Superman got accepted to Seminary and he starts a new job soon! God has been blessing us beyond belief... it's probably because He is sick of hearing me whine all the time...just kidding.
My new job is going great and it's the first time in my life where I have a job I truly love. I can't wait to get up and go to work everyday and I love that I don't know the job completely, because it's also challenging! I am still at JCPenney's, but I only work there once or twice every other week to keep the discount. I am excited that I get to home every night. It is also great that it is down the street from my house... for now. Making $20 an hour is not too bad either.
We are moving into a smaller apartment in a nicer neighborhood. We are moving to Rotterdam. For those of you who don't know, that is only 15 minutes from Schoharie and 20 from Albany. We are going from a three-bedroom to a two-bedroom, but there is a washer/dryer and a dishwasher (this is great news for our current dishwasher, Superman!) and even has off-street parking. The other great thing is that it's $300 cheaper every month- which will help us continue to honor God but eliminating our debts. We are very excited about it. We still have to wait two weeks to move into it, but I pray the time flys by.
Superman up and quit his job at Ruby Tuesday because he felt like he was being disobedient to God by keeping it. Who am I to hinder God's calling on his life? Though I wanted him to put in his two-week notice and quit the right way, Superman insisted he just say goodbye that night and not go back. Right now he is not working at all, but that will change in a few weeks. He was offered a job helping this elderly woman we know. Marie is the cousin of a friend and she is not only elderly, but has demetia. She needs someone to cook for her and stay with her during the day. This is right up Superman's alley, considering he is going to also start Nursing school in the fall. This new job is felxible, part-time and he will be able to do his homework there. It's truly an answer to prayer!! We are thankful for God's guiding hand!
The longer Superman and I have been married, the better we seem to get along and master co-existing. We are doing better than ever. Ever since we are being mentored by our pastor and God grabbed Superman's heart, things are much better!! Praise God! It's amazing that though I would like Superman to change at much faster speeds, God is changing him- and me. It's great!
I have been feeling really sad lately at the same time though! (Ain't it just like me to ruin a great moment by dwelling on something sour?) I am feeling like the struggle of being a good friend versus being a wife. I feel like when I got married, I made my decision to give up a social life for a life with my husband. I wanted so badly to be home at night so I could learn to embrace "Betty Housewife." I enjoy learning to cook, but I also wanted to see friends and family sometimes. Where is the balance? I think I need to just establish a better system or something. I need more routine and to be spontaneous at the same time. AHHHH!!! I miss having close friends and family to talk to. Sometimes I feel like Superman is my only friend and I'm sure he gets sick of hearing it all the time. This issue makes my head spin!
All in all though, life is good and God is great! I am truly blessed and thankful!