Still standing strong...

So we are heading into week three of Superman's unemployment and I because of God I am still standing strong. This has been a very trying time for me and Superman. I feel like it is a true test of faith in God. I feel like Superman and I are in a season of preparation-financially, spiritually and physically. I am working hard to keep my body in shape so that if God choses to expand our family (not that this is the greatest time for that, but I can prepare), I am physically ready. All this week, I have been very positive and in good spirits about everything, knowing God is in control and going to take care of us. But today, I feel as though my strength is fading and I am beginning to unravel. I know that to everything there is a season, but I can't help but wonder if I brought this on myself... I wonder why it is that when I am doing well, I forget to include God, but when things start going wrong, that's when I remember to pray and read my Bible? I haven't always been the best steward with the money God has provided for me, and for a time, money, not God, ruled my life. All that has changed in the last few months. I have been working all those jobs to be rid of, once and for all, all of the mistakes and poor stewardship I have been with money. I have finally been trusting God with WHOLE life, not just parts. I know it is God who gives and God who takes away, but I am frustrated that I keep causing Him to have to take away. Time and time again, I unravel and beg God to bail me out, He does, and yet I always find myself in this same place again. Why? Because I give God just enough to scrap by. A month ago, when we were doing good financially and I was paying off debt, I wasn't paying God ALL of my 10% tithe each week. I was only giving Him a small amount, compared to what I was making. When it was time to tithe, I was always annoyed at how much I had to give; however I could always justify buying that new outfit or movie without complaining. I am so frustrated at myself because I know better. The Bible is very clear about tithing and my attitude. Ever since Superman has been unemployed, I have given ALL 10% of my tithe unbegrudgingly (is that even a word, Aunt Moe?), and though I am nervous for the uncertainty in my future, I am feeling a lot better about honoring God. If you think of it, please continue to pray for Superman and me- that God would continue to clean us out of all the gook that is in us and prepare for all HE has for us. I am tired of living hand to mouth and getting no where financially in life...it is time for FREEDOM...that surpasses all understanding to guard our hearts and minds in Christ Jesus!